I recently enjoyed a very lively and fun Bible study with the youth of our church. We discussed what constitutes appropriate physical contact with someone we are not married to. Scripture commends to us a life of virtue, honor and self-control and warns us that sexual immorality separates us from God.

First, let’s consider a foundation Scripture, found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, wherein Paul writes:

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God …”

Sanctification in this instance has to do with setting our bodies apart to the glory of God. This involves abstaining from “sexual immorality,” which we may easily define as any sex that is outside of the God-ordained institution of covenant marriage. It’s also God’s will that we learn how to possess our body rather than for our body to possess us. He wants us to manage our body in a way that is honorable. Marriage, Hebrews 13 says, is honorable and the marriage bed is undefiled. God wants us to operate at an honorable level – sex in marriage – not as infidels – like dogs mating with multiple partners.

Let’s revisit this idea of “abstaining from sexual immorality.” Too often the discussions about appropriate physical contact roll around to different types of hand-holding, kissing with lips or tongue, where hands can be placed and still be OK, what type of hugging is appropriate, and so on. Rather than thinking about a “line” that is not to be crossed, why not think about a “direction to be pursued.” Let me illustrate.

Imagine it is picture day and you are wearing white shoes, white socks, white pants and nicely pressed white shirt. As you walk along you notice a large muddy area. Do you ask yourself: “How close can I get to that mud bog without getting mud on me?” No – you do not. You avoid the mud because you want to stay clean. Why not think that way about sexual purity? Rather than asking how far we can go without crossing some imaginary purity line, why not head in the DIRECTION of purity – avoiding those opportunities to get dirty in the first place.

How about a practical policy and procedure too? How should we relate to people and touch people we are not married to. Paul answers this in 1 Timothy 5:1, “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.

So there you have it. If you are a male – relate to all the females in your life as you would a sister or mother. If you are a female – relate to all the males in your life as you would a brother or father. Pardon the bluntness, but we would not (in a healthy situation) kiss our sister with tongue or put our hands on her breasts. Yuck! I hear ya! It is when we cross the line into the bonds of covenant marriage that our sexual contact with the other person is appropriate before God.

Like I said, pardon the blunt statement there, but let me just remind you that the world has no problem talking about it and even showing it. Our youth are inundated every day with a barrage of sexual imagery in movies, TV, music, Internet and advertising. Sex is discussed at school and in the chat rooms – we ought to offer practical advice and a safe place to be honest about it in the church.

Remember that this issue of sexual purity is for our own glory and honor and also God’s. Revelation warns that the sexually immoral will be outside the holy city of God in his coming kingdom. This is not trivial.

Many of us need a breakthrough of one kind or another, be it in our finances, relationships or ministry. A bold act of faith can often be the catalyst.

If asked to name a great Bible hero, I doubt many people would think of Prince Jonathan the son of Saul, Israel’s first king. The Word tells us in 1 Samuel chapters 13 and 14 of a time whenIsrael’s perennial nemesis, Philistia, came up against them in great force. They possessed thousands of chariots, horsemen and an innumerable number of infantry [1 Samuel 13:5]. The oppressed Israelites didn’t even have swords or spears. Their fighting men numbered only a few thousand. Such odds made combat seem suicidal, so they hid “in caves, in thickets, in rocks, in holes and in pits” [1 Samuel 13:6].

In the midst of this, one day Jonathan says to his armor bearer, “Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; it may be that the Lord will work for us” [1 Samuel 14:6]. Jonathan devised a sign, which basically went that if when they showed themselves to the Philistines if the garrison called to them “Come up here,” then Jonathan would know the Lord would give victory. He decided that if they said “Wait until we come to you,” then he would know to withdraw. The Philistines saw Jonathan and mocked and said, in the common vernacular, “Bring it on boys,” and so Jonathan brought it. He and his armor bearer climbed up the steep rocks and slaughtered 20 Philistines. Not only so, but subsequently God sent an earthquake and then confusion into the Philistine camp and the Israelites were able to route them.

This devotional is not an admonition to behave rashly or without good counsel or forethought. It is a challenge to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know what Jonathan was thinking, “Man, I’ve had all I can stand and I can’t stands no more!” But if you will allow me, I’d take a venture about what God was thinking when he heard Jonathan’s conversation and saw him step out and pick a fight, “Good gracious, it’s about time!”

I like what I once read about the great healing and preaching evangelist Smith Wigglesworth. It said that when Wigglesworth didn’t feel the Spirit of God moving in a service, Wigglesworth set out to move the Spirit.

Let us be prayerful, but also let us be active. Victories don’t come to those who won’t engage. Give, worship, pray and serve, maybe God will do something.